Recognize the Red Flags, Decide Whether to Stay or Leave, and Find Out How You Can Create the Loving, Rewarding Relationships You Desire and Deserve
Few things in life are more important than our relationships.
When we first get involved with someone romantically or our relationships are going well, we feel like we’re on top of the world. Yet, when our relationships aren’t working out – when our relationships with the people we love are a source of constant frustration and pain – everything else in life can seem to slowly crumble and fall apart.
Given this, it’s probably no big surprise that a LOT of people come to me looking for help with their relationships … especially those who feel trapped in unhealthy, codependent, toxic, or narcissistic relationships with partners or family members.
So, if you’re unhappy, or downright miserable, feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around those you love, don’t know why you act or react the way you do to other people, or are simply at your wit’s end and are trying to decide whether to stay or go, you’re far from alone … and help is available!
Counseling & Therapy for Toxic & Narcissistic Relationships
How do you know if you’re in a toxic relationship? How can you tell whether or not the person you love is a narcissist? And, if so, what can you do about it?
These are some of the most common questions I hear from new clients, and the answers aren’t always easy.
While we all have selfish moments, a truly toxic person will take and take and take and give you nothing in return.
So, if you’re in a toxic relationship, you likely feel as if you’re always taking care of that other person and serving their interests and needs at the expense of your own happiness.
However, just because you’re in an unhealthy or toxic relationships doesn’t mean the other person is narcissistic or abusive. Abuse is an extreme form of toxicity, and to meet the clinical definition of a narcissist, one must exhibit more than just a couple of narcissistic traits.
Accordingly, the first thing you and I will do in our work together is evaluate your relationship and whether the person you’re struggling with is likely to get help.
But even more importantly, we’ll look at why you’re in this relationship in the first place!
A lot of people seek out couples, marriage, or relationship counseling or family therapy with the intent of changing “the other person.” What many don’t realize is that the only person you can truly change is yourself.
So we’ll spend a good deal of time looking at what you learned about relationships when you were younger …
Whether we were taught to strive for perfection, had our emotional needs minimized, or were “parentified” at a young age, we tend to carry the emotional wounds we experienced when we were young – and the emotional defenses we’ve created to protect ourselves from them – into our later relationships.
In fact, we often subconsciously look for partners and relationships that reflect and repeat the first relationships we had in life.
For example, I recently finished working with a client who kept getting into relationships with emotionally unavailable partners. She could spot some of the red flags, but she kept falling for the games and seduction.
As we worked together, she began to realize that seduction is a form of manipulation. Above all, she began to recognize how her unfulfilled desire to experience the connection and closeness she never had with her narcissistic mother was at the heart of her codependent longing to merge with someone similar leading her to continuously choose emotionally unavailable partners.
After finishing up a lot of difficult work together, she was at the point of tears as she thanked me for helping her finally grieve the relationship with her mother that she never had, and to feel truly comfortable and happy with herself for the first time she could remember.
This is the power of counseling and psychotherapy.
In our work together, we’ll use a variety of healing techniques, including mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), EMDR therapy, and IFS therapy to explore your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about how relationships work and why you may be drawing or attracting toxic, narcissistic, or unavailable partners to you, so you can break free from the unhealthy relationship patterns and create the rewarding and loving relationships you desire and deserve.
I’ll also help you:
- Cope with and overcome any anxiety or depression you’re experiencing due to your relationship difficulties;
- Better understand what toxic relationships, codependency, and narcissism are, so you can spot the red flags and learn the skills and tools to avoid these types of relationships going forward;
- Recognize and work through any attachment “style” issues you may have that are leading you to routinely choose emotionally unavailable, toxic, or abusive partners;
- Learn to set and maintain healthy boundaries, so you can make sure you’re taking care of you; and
- Discover how to be your own best friend and truly love yourself, no matter who you’re with, or whether you’re by yourself.
Can Counseling & Therapy for Toxic & Narcissistic Relationships Really Help You?
If you’re in a toxic or narcissistic relationship, it’s unlikely the other person is going to change. Your only hope is to figure out what’s led you to be in, or stay in, a relationship with this person, so you can protect yourself and make healthier choices going forward.
Of course, if you were never given the chance to identify your own wants and needs, it can be pretty difficult to know how to take care of yourself, let alone what you want and need from your relationships and life.
This is precisely how counseling and psychotherapy can help.
For over two decades, I’ve been helping people identify and navigate toxic relationships, decide whether to stay or leave, figure out what they truly want and need, and take the best path forward for them … and I can help you, too!
If you’re ready to do the work necessary to acknowledge, work through, and overcome the incidents and relationships from the past that are keeping you stuck in unhealthy relationships in the present, I encourage you to contact me today, schedule a free, initial phone consultation, and ask any questions you have. I look forward to meeting you and helping you create the rewarding and loving relationships you desire and deserve, starting with your relationship with your Self!